I Wish
by beaucoup riant
Summary: He wished he had told her more than once. He wished she just wasn’t gone. But it’s too late to apologize. But he knew one thing…his love was not an act. It was the realest thing in his life. ONESHOT NejixSaku


**I Wish**

**Author's Notes: **Another story. This time it's a oneshot. I was inspired by Truthful Deceptions by Pa-Lee only a lot less happy. So enjoy! And review!

**Full Summary: **He wished he had told her more than once. He wished that he hadn't treated her the way he had. He wished she just wasn't gone. But it's too late to apologize. But he knew one thing…his love was not an act. It was the realest thing in his life.

**ALL ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters or the anime but the story.

He clutched the frame so hard his knuckles were white. His face was somber but heart in pain. He sat in the dark with his mind racing.

In the picture, he looked so happy. The woman next to him looked equally as happy, it hadn't been an act. Her eyes were wide and her smile showed all her pearly teeth. Her hair had been curled slightly that day and she held her bouquet tightly to her. His arm was wrapped around her waist. Their eyes were connected.

It was a picture on their wedding day. It was a picture of the exact moment when he had told her he loved her. It was his confession that he never repeated.

_The white dress was tight at her chest, sometimes he couldn't help but let his eyes wander down her bodice when she stood next to him. She wore heels that day and she was only up to his shoulder still._

_Her side fit perfectly next to his. He smiled at the warmth that burned inside of him. He had never felt this way about anyone before._

"_Smile for the camera!" The photographer said._

_He saw her pink haired head turn towards him, smiling. In the distance he could see Tsunade, the Hokage. _

_It painfully reminded him to the mission. 'This is for Hinata.' _

_But he ignored the fact that this entire thing was a charade, a mission. He focused on the woman he loved._

_His white pearly eyes looked deeply into her sparkling emerald eyes. "I love you." He whispered. And the flash of the camera flashed._

_Her eyes widened but her smile widened. "I love you too, Neji-kun." _

_His heart was pounding. He slowly leaned down to kiss her, nervous. _

It was the only time he had ever said he loved her. Days after that, he never repeated it.

It had been a mission after all to protect his cousin. He had always did missions without emotion, they only got in the way after all.

But ignoring his emotion had been his biggest mistake in this mission. He remembered the way he had spoken to her before he had left to protect Hinata for the festival's ceremony.

"_Please, Neji, just stay with me today." She pleaded._

"_Sakura I have to go. You're being ridiculous." He said, glaring down at her._

_She shook her head. Her hands clutched at her full stomach. "I just have a bad feeling about this." _

"_Sakura, you're always forgetting that this entire relationship is a mission."_

He had been so cruel to her that morning. The mission was that men from a distant village had been trying to get to him, for he was the Hyuuga clan prodigy. They wanted to take Hinata, his weakness, to get to him.

The mission was to distract them. If he married a woman with strong charka control and had a child with both his bloodline limit and her infamous charka control that rivaled their Hokage, all danger would slip from Hinata.

He had accepted it. And somehow along the way he had fallen in love with his partner. But he rejected the love, emotions had no place in the battlefield after all.

They dated for four months and got engaged at the fifth. Married quickly a month later. Then she got pregnant with the child that would save Hinata.

She had been six months pregnant at that time.

_Tears started to form at her eyes. His heart clenched at the sight. He was always saying such cruel things to her. He was always hurting her._

_But he did this to remind himself that this was a mission. Despite his feelings for her, he had to focus on protecting Hinata._

The tears started to fall again. He had been so focused on protecting Hinata that he didn't even look to protect his partner.

He threw the photo across the room, where it shattered like his heart. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could see her.

"_But I love you. It's not just a mission to me. Doesn't that make any difference?" She asked. She clutched at his arm again, hoping to convince him to stay with her. "Don't go today. She has Naruto and your other family members. Please just stay with me today." _

_He pulled his arm away from her grasps roughly. "My focus is on Hinata, Sakura."_

"_But I'm pregnant with your child!" She screamed._

"_And that child is the key to Hinata's safety! I need to be with her until that child is born."_

"_So I'm just a tool to you?! I don't matter to you at all?!" She screamed. The furious look in her eye scared him. It hurt him. "I thought you loved me!" _

Truth was, he had loved her. They had loved each other. He had only told her so once. She told him as many times as he needed to hear it.

The way they looked at each other showed a couple in love. The way they acted around each other was a couple in love.

But the way he spoke to her sounded no where near a couple in love then.

_Sakura giggled. His arm wrapped around her. It was a cold winter day. They shared an intimate kiss._

"_Aww!!" Ten-ten in the distance remarked. _

_Sakura responded by launching a snowball at her. Ten-ten screamed and gathered up snow in her hands._

_Sakura laughed and grabbed Neji's hand. "Run!" _

_And the entire time they were running, his eyes focused only on her._

Neji choked on a sob then.

He had been a fool not to tell her he had loved her. He had been a fool not to have listened to what his heart was telling him that day.

The family had to go to the square for a festival. He had to protect Hinata of course because a secret signal had gone out that an intruder came into the town. The Hokage had told them all that it might be the one who would take Hinata.

It had been a dead wrong observation.

When they walked through the square, himself planted next to Hinata, he had heard a scream in the distance.

His heart clenched when he had thought of Sakura at that moment but his logic told him that it was nothing. He was imagining things and that he had to focus on the mission.

He had asked Naruto if he had heard the scream. Naruto had looked at him if he was crazy.

But his gut persisted, the feeling that something was horribly wrong. But his logic told him nothing was wrong, he was right next to Hinata protecting her after all. He hadn't thought of Sakura at all then.

Then it went completely downhill into chaos.

_The signal for danger went out. People were screaming, starting to run in all directions. Neji turned around swiftly, next to Hinata. His eyes darted around looking for any danger, the veins forming around his temples. _

_Then he saw it, a flash of white and black. It was a small tiny dot, extremely far away from where they were standing. It was a man so oddly familiar running up the village wall, escaping. _

_The town square had emptied and no danger had launched itself at Hinata yet. The team around Hinata looked around anxiously, waiting. His heart clenched, something was horribly wrong. But he couldn't see it. He couldn't figure out what was wrong. _

_Then he saw the Hokage running towards him. She was smiling, her blonde hair glistening in the sun._

"_Neji! It's over!" She said as she ran towards the group. Hinata was securely behind him, looking around herself. _

_She showed him the surrender letter from the terrorists. He read it himself. The assassins had given up. They had gotten too impatient. But still his gut told him that it wasn't over, that something had gone wrong._

"_Come on, Neji, be happy. It's all over." The Hokage had told him. Then Naruto cheered and took Hinata away, saying something about finally being able to be alone with her safely. _

"_Neji-kun, may you take this home for me?" Hinata asked shyly before she left. He had nodded. _

_The family looked happy, relieved, and proud that no danger had come to the family. And yet still, he had a horrible feeling. _

_Shikamaru, Rock Lee, and Ten-ten had decided to go for drinks to celebrate. He had agreed to go with them but they stopped by the Hyuuga manor before hand._

_What he saw…confirmed all his feelings._

Neji walked out of the manor, it held too many memories at the moment. Memories that he wasn't sure he could bear to remember at the moment.

Happy memories, sad memories, angry moments of his past. He couldn't take it.

He stood in front of a river, listening to the rushing waters. His mind replayed how he found Sakura.

_The group had been chatting happily as they walked until they saw the manor in front of them. _

_There were large holes in the manor, broken walls. A fight had happened._

"_Wow, Neji, did Sakura get angry again?" Shikarmaru asked._

_He didn't answer. He just ran. _

"_Neji!" _

_They ran after him. The walls were a blur, he knew where he was going. He had to know, he had to make sure._

_He didn't know what he would fine, but his mind desperately hoped it was to see a smiling Sakura perfectly fine._

_There were splashes of blood on the walls, a sickening look. He rounded the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. _

_He had heard a scream. He hadn't known it was his. _

_There she was. Sakura Hyuuga. _

_Except she wasn't smiling at him in greeting. _

_There she was. His lover, his wife, his closest friend, pinned to the ground by a katana in her stomach. Her face was looking at him, her eyes wide and her face frozen in horror. _

_He didn't hear the gasps behind him. He didn't hear or see anything, just the dead body of his lover. _

_The box Hinata had given him to take home, fell from his arms. Neji walked slowly to her._

"_Sakura…" He whispered. "SAKURA!" He screamed._

_He pulled the katana from her pulging stomach, where his dead child laid in its mothers womb. _

_Neji cradled her body in his arms. His body shook. Sakura's blood smeared his clothes and hands. "SAKURA!" _

_He cried then into her hair. It was so final that moment. He had failed._

"_I love you." He whispered into her hair, kissing it._

_It was the second time he said it._

"_I love you." He whispered against the skin of her cheek. _

_It was the third time he said it._

"_I love you." He whispered against her forehead, kissing it._

_It was the fourth time he had said it._

"_I love you." He whispered._

_The fifth time._

"_I love you." He whispered to her._

_The sixth time._

_And Sakura could never hear it from where she was._

He pounded his fists against the ground wildly.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" He cried out. "Why?"

But Neji knew why.

Next to the dead body of his wife had been two letters. One addressed to him and the other addressed to the Hokage.

When they had taken her body from his arms and into the morgue, Tsunade and him had read their letters together in the hospital.

It had been a trap.

It had been Sasuke.

The letter to him told him that he had been a fool. Told him all his errors and that the entire time, they had truly been after Sakura's death. Sasuke had considered all factors, knew that the Hokage would pair Sakura up with Neji.

Thought that if Sasuke threatened Hinata, he could easily distract all the people who loved Sakura away for him to kill her. It had worked of course, knowing that Neji was fiercely protective of his cousin.

He had been a fool not to take care of Sakura.

Tsunade had cried angrily. She had been such a fool.

But Neji was the bigger fool.

The next day, they held a hero's funeral for Sakura.

He placed the rose next to her body in the coffin. "I love you." He whispered down at her, giving her cold hand a soft squeeze.

And Neji wished that he had never been a fool, that she was alive to hear him say those words. After all, once was never enough.

It was the seventh time Neji had ever told Sakura he loved her.

But she never heard it.


End file.
